


when darkness comes (i'll be your fire)

by imalivebecauseirondad



Series: coming back to you [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Gen, HE'S NOT DEAD OKAY, Hurt/Comfort, I refuse to let him, IF U READ THIS AS STARKER I WILL THROW SOMETHING AT YOU, NOT STARKER - Freeform, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Mid-Credits Scene Compliant, PREFERABLY SOMETHING HARD, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony won't die, and heavy, anti starker, basically Peter' identity is safe, in a weird way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24685072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imalivebecauseirondad/pseuds/imalivebecauseirondad
Summary: It's been 8 months since the Blip.8 months in which Peter’s been avoiding anything related to Tony. Anything related to Titan in general, really.When he finds out about the trip, he smiles, because this? This is perfect.Now, he can finally try to get what he's been so desperately seeking for the past few months- a normal life, and a place with no trace of Tony.When he's sitting on the roof, he can't help but notice the painting of Iron Man. The sight brings him no comfort, and he finds that he can't wait for the field trip.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: coming back to you [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735963
Comments: 2
Kudos: 84





	when darkness comes (i'll be your fire)

**Author's Note:**

> Last part of the series! Anyways, if you didn't read the tags, this is FFH compliant except for his identity getting revealed. That's it.

It's been 8 months since the Blip.

8 months in which Peter’s been avoiding anything related to Tony. Anything related to Titan in general, really.

When he finds out about the trip, he smiles, because this? This is perfect.

Now, he can finally try to get what he's been so desperately seeking for the past few months- a normal life, and a place with no trace of Tony.

Then, the press conference happens, and Tony is mentioned, and Peter spirals. When he's sitting on the roof, he can't help but notice the painting of Iron Man. The sight brings him no comfort, and he finds that he can't wait for the field trip.

* * *

Peter was wrong.

So, _so_ wrong.

The field trip just makes everything worse, and he keeps trying to avoid the man that seems to be everywhere, because he just _can't_ \- he can't _handle_ it, and nobody seems to realize that.

The most he can do for himself is to block Rhodey and Pepper's numbers from his phone, which makes him feel undeniably guilty, but they're some of the most painful reminders of Tony, and the many calls and texts they send that he doesn't answer or read aren't helping. When Happy starts to try instead, he blocks him too, and finds himself wishing, more than anything, that he could tell someone how he feels.

Then Nick Fury hijacks his field trip, and Peter meets Quentin Beck, and all of a sudden he has someone else to talk to.

* * *

In hindsight, Peter thinks he should have realized it.

Should have realized that Beck was nothing but another liar, another villain.

But he didn't, and now he's paying for it, watching as MJ is thrown off the Eiffel Tower, and he dives after her, hitting the floor hard, her scream echoing around him, and he knows the sound will haunt his nightmares.

And then he's thrown out, and he's back in his homemade suit-

_Good lord, can you even see in these?_

-and he's being attacked by copies of himself, bodies piling up on him, trapping him, pinning him under their weight, and he, he can't breathe, he _can't,_ he-

Then they disappear, and he's standing among the ruins of a statue of Captain America.

And then he's fighting Beck, and then all of a sudden-

He's alone.

And Tony's grave is in front of hem. "If you were good enough," Beck says, his voice becoming quieter, giving voice to the thoughts that plague his mind whenever he lets himself actually think about his mentor, "maybe Tony would still be alive."

And then a hand bursts out of the dirt, and he scrambles away as a rotting suit pulls itself out, clawing its way to him, and in the back of his mind he knows this isn't real - Tony was buried with nothing from the armour except his gauntlet, a tribute to one of his greatest creations - but he can't help but believe it is.

And then there's more illusions, and he doesn't know what's real and what isn't, right up until Nick Fury appears, and he's so terrified he lets himself believe that it's real, even as his Spider sense-

_May says we should call it the Peter Tingle. What do you think, huh, Underoos?_

-warns him.

And then it all melts away, and he's hit by a train, and it's only through sheer force of will that he manages to get inside the train, before all is black.

* * *

"You take care of the suit, I'll take care of the music."

A familiar song starts to play, and Peter remembers a day, long ago, when he heard it for the first time, and he repeats the same thing he said that day.

"Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!" he says, trying for a smile.

He can almost see Tony's outrageously offended expression at the words, and for the first time in a long time, his heart feels just a little bit lighter.

* * *

Fighting Beck exhausts him like nothing else.

Peter wants nothing more than to break down and cry as he stares at the dead man.

"EDITH," he says, wishing it was Karen, "is he dead?"

There's a pause, and then EDITH says, "Quentin Beck is dead, Peter."

He nods, though there's no one there to see it, feeling a bone-deep weariness crash over him. A few tears slip down his face, and he rubs them away furiously.

"Peter," EDITH says in a soft voice, "What's wrong?"

He shakes his head again. "Nothing, it's just-" His voice catches. "I really miss him, EDITH. I know May and Happy and Ned and MJ are doing their best, but, but they're not _him._ They're not Mr. Stark."

There will never be another Tony.

The realization makes his eyes spill over once again, and for once, there's no one to comfort him.

* * *

After everything - after MJ, and going back, and meeting May - Peter visits his grave for the first time. He sits down, rubbing his eyes. "Hey, Mr. Stark," he says, his voice catching, and it takes everything in him to stop himself from crying. "I-I'm sorry I haven't visited. It was...I didn't want to believe it. It, it hurt too much. It still hurts, actually, but - but MJ said it might help."

He leans back, laughs a little, a watery, choked-up sound. "MJ. I have a lot to tell you, Mr. Stark."

So Peter starts talking, his voice breaking halfway through the first sentence, but somehow, he manages to get all the way to being hit by the train before he breaks down. He's unbelievably glad that no one else is there to see him as his body shudders with sobs. He can almost feel Tony putting a comforting arm around him, hugging him close to his side, telling him _It's okay, Pete, let it all out,_ and the thought just makes him cry even more.

After what feels like forever, the cobs fade into hiccups, and he rubs his eyes furiously. "Sorry," he apologizes, in a watery voice, hating himself for the tears. "I shouldn't - I should - I'm sorry."

He sniffs, and feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Part of him is tempted to decline when he sees Pepper's name on the screen, but he figures he's ignored her long enough. He picks up the call and presses the phone to his ear. "Hi, Mrs. Stark," he says, voice hoarse from crying.

"Oh, _Peter,_ " she says, in a soft voice, like she knows where he is, what's happening, and he squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to cry even more. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he says, and he knows she can tell he's lying, but she lets it slide.

"Okay. I - Peter, can you come over? To the lake house? We've been trying to tell you for a while, but you wouldn't answer our calls, and then we found out what happened in Europe...Peter, I'm so sorry, but this is- this is really important. Its- it's amazing, actually."

He's never heard her stutter before, and that's part of the reason Peter fins himself saying, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Peter manages to drive all the way to the lake house by himself, and is proud of himself for managing to (mostly) keep it together when it reminds him so much of when Tony had taught him how to drive.

Everything seems to remind him of Tony.

After a long drive, a few pit stops, and one breakdown, he pulls up in front of the house. The second he steps out, he's attacked by a small blur, and two arms wrap around his waist. "Petey!" Morgan Stark squeals happily. "I missed you!"

He laughs, really laughs for the first time in a long time. "I missed you too, Mo," he says, bending down to hug her. "Sorry I haven't come to visit in so long."

"It's okay!" she says, taking his hand and tugging him towards the door. "We have a surprise for you! Mommy says that we should tell you, but I think it should be a surprise."

She keeps chattering on as she opens the door, and he smiles. He's missed her.

"Hey, Morguna, why don't you let him go, huh?" a familiar voice says, and he freezes, because that's - it's not possible, he's, he's supposed to be _dead,_ how- 

"Morgan, get behind me!" he orders, his webshooters forming over his wrists. He points them at Beck - because it has to be Beck, there's no other way he could be here. " _How did you get here? How did you find them?!"_

"Petey?" Morgan sounds scared, and he feels a pang of regret at causing that fear, but he refuses to let him hurt her. Tony - no, _Beck_ \- steps forward, arms up, looking so confused and worried that he can almost believe it's real.

_Almost._

"Peter?" Pepper rushes down the stairs, stopping behind Beck. She opens her mouth to say something, then closes it, looking between all three of them, confused.

"Kid? What's going on?" Beck says, and that sets him off.

"Don't!" he roars. "Don't pretend you're him, Beck! He's _dead_! You're not him! _You're not!_ "

Realization dawns across his face, and he starts speaking in a calm, soothing tone, the same tone Tony would use when he was talking him down from a panic attack, and the familiarity of it makes tears prick at his eyes, but he refuses to lower his webshooters - at least, until he hears what he's saying.

"When we first met, May gave me this _terrible_ , absolutely godawful walnut-date loaf, but I still ate it because I didn't want to hurt her feelings."

Peter's hands start to tremble, just a little, but Tony sees it. Tony always sees.

"When I found out about Toomes, and the warehouse, you stayed over that night, but I tried to keep away from you for a while after that because I was so guilty, but then you got came over when I got hurt, and I swore I'd never do something like that again when you started crying. Once, when you got hypothermia and were really out of it, you called me dad, and then got so embarrassed afterwards." Tony smiles fondly. "You tried to avoid me, but I wouldn't let you, and we stayed up all night watching Star Wars, even the really shitty ones, and then I put on a Percy Jackson movie and you freaked out because, and I quote, 'Those movies are a sacrilege, Mr. Stark! They have traumatized me, and we shall never speak of them again!'"

Peter's completely lowered his arms by now. At some point, Pepper and Morgan had disappeared, but his eyes are stuck on Tony - Tony, warm and real and _alive._

 _"_ Do I need to keep going?" Tony asks, and Peter shakes his head a few times, before the tears finally come out, and he launches himself into Tony's arms. The man catches him and holds him close, carding a hand through his hair, whispering reassurances, both of them sinking to the floor as Peter sobs into his chest.

"You were _dead,"_ he keeps saying, keeps repeating. "You were _gone._ "

"I know, kid," Tony murmurs, pressing a kiss to his temple, which just makes him let out another sob. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." 

After a long time, Peter finally stops crying, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he burrows even closer to Tony, soaking up his presence. "I'm sorry," he mumbles.

"What for?" 

He sniffs. "I probably ruined your shirt."

Tony laughs, then, a choked-up sound, and he pulls him even closer. "God, you never change, do you? I missed you kid."

"I missed you too, Mr. Stark." He pauses, wondering if he's going to cross any lines with what he wants to say, but decides that he's already embarrassed himself, might as well as do it now. "I never told you, Mr. Stark, but, um - I love you."

"I love you too, kid," Tony murmurs, tears in his voice, and Peter feels a warm feeling spread through him as he presses another kiss to his head. "You have no idea how much."

They both stay silent for a while, until eventually Tony says they should get up, and then a few moments later, they're on the couch, still holding on to each other - in fact, Peter thinks he might never let go. "I'm sorry I never picked up any of your calls," he says. "If I had, I would've come sooner, but, um-"

"It hurt too much," Tony finishes for him, and he nods.

"Yeah."

He feels an arm wrap around his shoulder, and he leans into Tony's side. "It's fine, kid," Tony says. "I get it. Now, you want to tell me what you've been up to for the past few months?"

So he does. Peter tells him about the funeral, and how May had appeared in the middle of some family's living room, and called him right away, and how he'd tried to pretend he was normal, and about Beck and Fury and MJ, and by the end his voice is hoarse. Tony pulls him even closer, if that's possible, when he hears about what Beck made him see.

"God, kid," Tony says, his voice catching. "God, kid, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I' so sorry I couldn't help."

"It's okay," Peter replies, and he means it. "You're here now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, kid," Tony agrees, his voice warm and thick with an emotion Peter's heard before but never been able to identify until now - _love_. "I'm here. And I'm not leaving anytime soon."

**Author's Note:**

> So. We're done the series. I actually like this one a lot, and I hope you guys did too! Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and if you want, come find me on [tumblr](https://a-cannibalistic-elephant.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
